My eternal night

I don't put my faith in anyone.
The "higher power's" having fun.
Rearranging all the pieces,
to get a perfect fit.
I don't begin to question it,
I know everything has a season.
This period of growth is over now.
Let's put it to the test.
I will gladly risk it all,
if it will make you see.
Learning it is not enough,
I'd willingly walk through fire.
The going may get rough,
cause it's easy to profess,
harder to walk in spirit.
I'll do it never the less.
My hearts desire will be realized,
All I have to do is stand.
let the light inside my soul,
feel it's energy.
I think that in this life time,
I'll finally "get it right",
I will gratefully say good-bye,
to my eternal night.



copyright © 2009 Lydia Lanham
Note- all this is in the past, long ago and all changed to happiness FAITH!

Nothing but everything

_____________________________________________________________________________________ We waltzed across the Milky way,
and he held me close to him.
I dreamed that we would fly away,
past stars that would never dim.
Sparkling moonbeams in my hair,
he was the one who put them there,
and starlight in my eyes.
A lovers dream of great extremes,
all the wild and lovely schemes,
sung to the tune of a lullaby.
He softly whispered words of love,
and kissed me tenderly,
my lover, my life, my sweetest one,
I thought he would always "see me".
He wrote songs of a magical romance,
one that he knew would always be.
We walked in the silvery moonlight,
past flowers of fantasy,
sometimes he'd stop and pick one,
then hand it right to me.
I still can smell their fragrance,
feel the warmth of that beautiful eve,
but now I sit alone here,
wondering why he'd ever leave.
I thought he was the one who hung the Moon,
couldn't bear to see reality.
Everything he touched spun gold dust,
I was dazzled by everything.
Until I woke on that fated day,
and saw the truth so bleak and grey,
not even a word from him.
Was it easy for him to walk away,
travel back to the past to a life,
that had left him incomplete?
What was it that he left behind,
that could compete with all these things?
Why does he say he loves me,
and turn to walk away?
Too many questions with no answers,
why am I the one to pay?
Open heart come in he told me,
did he mean a word he said?
I hoped that he would hold me,
and I'm holding stardust instead.
I hope he hasn't forgotten,
what we thought was "meant to be",
I remember what he told me,
about wanting all these things,
and how he waited so long,
for all the magic true love brings.
I know he heard my heart song,
and how he made it sing.
I only hope he's happy,
and he can live on dreams,
and me I'll continue to fly,
most likely aimlessly,
maybe sometimes he'll look back,
probably in his dreams,
and see the little lady,
who wanted nothing but everything.

copyright © 2009 Lydia Lanham

False reality

False reality


Lying in my bed,
thirty angels in the room,
lone dream catcher,
filled with loneliness and gloom.
A picture that portrays anger,
feels like a solitary tomb.
What it lacks is laughter,
and secrets in the night.
Mementos of love,
such a pathetic sight.
Yet it is the place,
that is all my own,
security and safety,
in someone else’s home.
I cannot dream of tomorrow,
it is too far away.
Set my sights on borrowed,
and live another day.
Bare my soul in poetry,
no one will ever read.
So how can anyone find me,
and give me what I need?
My focus is on other’s,
don’t know another way.
They just smile and hope,
I’ll finally seize the day,
and go in another direction,
but I am so afraid.
Don’t want to embrace silence,
watch me slowly start to fray.
I try so hard to compensate,
it never is enough.
I know I can surely do it,
one thing I am is tough.
I’ve done it before,
the going can get rough.
I’d still immerse in music,
and write my poetry.
It would be much better,
if someone would just “see” me.
I don’t really get it,
my soul longs to be free,
what’s the thing I’m missing,
in my false reality?




Finally someone did see me, his name is Lance and he's my guy.

Nothing but everything

Nothing but everything

We waltzed across the Milky way,
and he held me close to him.
I dreamed that we would fly away,
past stars that would never dim.
Sparkling moonbeams in my hair,
he was the one who put them there,
and starlight in my eyes.
A lovers dream of great extremes,
all the wild and lovely schemes,
sung to the tune of a lullaby.
He softly whispered words of love,
and kissed me tenderly,
my lover, my life, my sweetest one,
I thought he would always "see me".
He wrote songs of a magical romance,
one that he knew would always be.
We walked in the silvery moonlight,
past flowers of fantasy,
sometimes he'd stop and pick one,
then hand it right to me.
I still can smell their fragrance,
feel the warmth of that beautiful eve,
but now I sit alone here,
wondering why he'd ever leave.
I thought he was the one who hung the Moon,
couldn't bear to see reality.
Everything he touched spun gold dust,
I was dazzled by everything.
Until I woke on that fated day,
and saw the truth so bleak and grey,
not even a word from him.
Was it easy for him to walk away,
travel back to the past to a life,
that had left him incomplete?
What was it that he left behind,
that could compete with all these things?
Why does he say he loves me,
and turn to walk away?
Too many questions with no answers,
why am I the one to pay?
Open heart come in he told me,
did he mean a word he said?
I hoped that he would hold me,
and I'm holding stardust instead.
I hope he hasn't forgotten,
what we thought was "meant to be",
I remember what he told me,
about wanting all these things,
and how he waited so long,
for all the magic true love brings.
I know he heard my heart song,
and how he made it sing.
I only hope he's happy,
and he can live on dreams,
and me I'll continue to fly,
most likely aimlessly,
maybe sometimes he'll look back,
probably in his dreams,
and see the little lady,
who wanted nothing but everything.

Sunday, November 1, 2009
copyright © 2009 Lydia Grey

Cosmic Karma

If in another dimension,
time runs a bit slower,
and the time continuum reversed,
could we put this on rewind?
Would there be a tiny chance,
that we might save ourselves,
and change the darkest hour?
Could we travel to that time,
with a memory,
of how such careless acts,
have changed our destiny?
Déjà vu foretold it all.
I don't think we were meant to fall.
outside influence changed the plan.
evil has a way of doing what it needs to do.
We were supposed to rise above it,
human frailty took it's toll.
I didn't learn enough from you,
nor the other way around.
Was it just a flash of cosmic karma,
passing energies?
I wish that I could turn back time,
and start it all again.
Remove the hurt and interference,
and you'd still be my friend.

copyright © 2008 Lydia Lanham

Planetary shift

There’s a blue moon
on the darkest of nights.
A planetary shift,
which reunites lost souls.
Love grows cold and tempers rise,
parallels run counterclockwise.
It’s time best spent in the company of one.
Lessons the chance of contradictions.
Conversation spins round and round,
no sequel to this banter.
Words become just hollow noise,
just gibberish and ranting.
I can’t escape what’s sure to come.
So I’ll try to hide my feelings.
And weather this night of pandemonium.
For what’s ended tonight is ended for good.
Futile efforts will be misunderstood.
Let the wise among us be silent.
It’s a time for them to be patient.

copyright © 2008 Lydia Lanham

Saturn without rings

Mirrored images back to back,
we don’t show the world,
what it is we lack.
Living in our “comfort zones”.
Can’t take the drama.
Rather be alone.
It’s not conducive to anything.
What would Saturn be without it’s rings?
Relationships that are just words,
serve to stagnate the soul.
Failure to recognize connections,
will cause us to be cold.
Only when we experience,
the deepest of emotion,
can we learn just what we need.
The sooner we begin to accept this,
we’ll be free of complacency.
The easy way is non-productive.
One of us must lead the way.
So don’t fear when you look in the mirror,
and you can’t see me.
Be content in knowing,
I am searching for what we need.
Be sure that when I find it,
I will show you the way.
I will not abandon you,
even though you cannot see,
I’ll be out there creating,
our new reality.

copyright © 2008 Lydia Lanham

Unrecognizable apparition called SELF

Designated selfish place,
resurrected by human need.
Scream into the endless night,
desperate cry,
for the preservation of my soul.
Empathy drains the essence of life,
danger of growing cold.
In that split second,
the universe ceases to be.
Icy fingers of fate point accusingly.
Despair overcomes,
betrayal of a yearning heart
Not for you,
return to path of fate.
lest they forget your face.
Obliterate the need,
visibility second in destiny.
Deny this apparition,
they'll be no recognition.
no light to show the way.
Only a soul mate holds the key,
that can open the door,
to multidimensional reality.
copyright 2007 LydiaLanham (Grey)